This is going to be a corny post, I just want to be up front about that. I have wanted to write about the talented, wonderful women in my life for some time. Though I do a very poor job of demonstrating it, my friends are some of the most important people in my life.
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I am not a perfect person, and my girlfriends are the people that forgive my less-lovable personality traits. One of my major flaws is my apparent inability to initiate meaningful communication with people that live far away from me.
Assuming the role of worst long-distance friend ever, I have girlfriends with beautiful children that I have only seen in photos. There are also at least 2 dream houses that I have yet to visit. <insert deep sigh.>
Becoming a mom has really crystallized why I need my friends in my life. Well, that and getting married. No matter how great my husband is, I still need other women in my life to talk to. To bounce ideas off of. To relate to.
My girlfriends are the people who get me. They are also the people who tell me when I am acting like a damn fool. I need that.
These are the women that I draw strength from.
The 5 Friends Every Married Woman Should Have (In my opinion.)
The Childhood Friend
This is the girl that grew up in your neighborhood or went to elementary school with you. She knew you before you had boobs or pubes. She remembers when you were shy about talking in front of the whole class in 2nd grade.
I had a childhood best friend. We were in the same kindergarten as well as the same first grade classroom. We had sleepovers and enjoyed 80’s movies together. She was also the first person I ditched when I got to middle school.
Sadly, we grew apart as we grew up. But once in a great while I run into her and whenever I do we have a nice conversation. She and I have known each other since before we had any concept of social norms or high school peer pressure. In many ways she knows the real me.
The High School Throwback
This is the friend who went with you to sneak into college parties when you were both 16. (What, doesn’t everybody do that?) This is also the friend who knows your dirty secrets about boys and kissing and well…other things you did in your spare time.
I actually have 3 High School friends that I communicate with. We get together exactly once per year while our children play together. Our lives are completely different in so many ways, but the memories of our high school adventures keep our hearts aligned.
When I see these ladies I am always amazed at how far we have come. Between us we have seven children, but when we get together we are like schoolgirls again. Discussion ranges from husbands to home buying to family planning. We have lost our parents, old boyfriends and practically our sanity but there is no judgment, only acceptance.
Everybody needs this kind of unconditional acceptance in their lives.
The Single Friend
This is your perennially single friend who you go to for a dose of fun. Her dating stories are hysterically funny. Her home is a kid free, husband free and if you are really lucky, pet-free.
I have one friend who will always be single. She has had long-term relationships, but a combination of career and wanderlust has put her in a position to remain single. She revels in her freedom and I enjoy living vicariously through her.
We don’t spend much time discussing men or relationships. We talk about living in a male-dominated world and breaking glass ceilings. We discuss politics and travel and what is happening on the other side of the world. Quite simply, we have amazing, thought-provoking conversations about life.
If you have children you need at least one friend in your life that is single and child- free. There is nothing like a person who loves children, but has none, to give you a little perspective. (Or an escape route when everyone in your house is making you nuts.)
The Mom Friend
Right after my son was born I was contacted by my husband’s-friend’s-wife. We knew each other through our husbands, we got married a few months apart, and then we had babies a few months apart. She offered to come over and show me how to use a Moby Wrap for my screaming infant.
As it turned out the Moby was a great idea, as was the side sleeper she loaned me. Since that day, she has basically been my go-to for questions about parenting. Strangely, our children are almost polar opposites personality-wise, but as mothers we have a lot in common.
Having someone to talk to about the hard stuff, the moments you are not proud of, is so important when it comes to mothering. This friend tells me when I am overreacting, and she tells me when I am 100% justified in my feelings. She tells me her stories and we toss parenting ideas back and forth.
We are brutally honest with each other and forgiving at the same time. This is mom’s supporting mom’s, and sometimes this is the relationship that gets me through the day.
The Work Friend
Whether you work in an office, at home or online you must have at least one work friendship.
This is the friend who stays late with you on a Friday night because you spaced-out on your work. And you would do the same for her, because you work for the same organization and share the same goals. This might even be a work mentor who you go to for guidance.
I love talking to successful people. I want to learn from them and absorb their juju. I actually wrote about work mentors in my work ebook, Winning at Work with ADHD.
Sign up for my non-annoying and very infrequent email list, and you will get a direct link.
Back to my point – Inspiration comes in many forms and I have some of the kindest, warmest and most wonderful girlfriends. I am continually impressed by their work ethic, at home and at work, as well as their ability to set goals for themselves.
Living in the positive is the trait that seems most predictive of one’s success in life and in work. Positive energy is contagious.
Life is a bumpy road. I don’t know how I could make it if it weren’t for my friends.
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Good friends make life more tolerable. There are even more extraordinary women in my life that I look up to every single day. Unfortunately, if I am too detailed in my descriptions some of them might be recognized because well…my friends are so talented some of them are practically famous. True story.
I’ll leave you with this quote:
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
How has your life been impacted by your friends?
How do you cultivate and maintain friendships in your life?
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