I provide ADHD coaching and support. Consequently, this post is probably a really bad business move for me.
Working with clients, I have seen two basic attitudes about life with ADHD.
Some of us choose to make the best of it. (coaching, support, education)
While others routinely say things like, “Sometimes the ADHD wins.” (get stuck)
This is an oversimplification. But in general, most of us lean toward one school of thought or the other. And we probably change our minds every day.
In this moment, where are you? Option 1 or 2?
Is ADHD coaching and support for you?
Here’s how to tell
I’m going to save you a little trouble (and maybe some money) by making 5 important points about what separates the two groups of people identified above.
Social Media should not be your primary source of information
I will be the first to admit that Facebook is fun. I use it to house two different support groups.
But that’s the point of Facebook – fun. Facebook is an escape from real life and a chance to see what everyone else is doing.
Unfortunately, nine times out of ten Facebook will distract you from doing the things that will actually make you feel better about your life, leaving you feeling even more stuck.
Facebook is not secure, and it is not a place where you should look for medically accurate information. Nor is twitter, or Instagram, or Snapchat.
free stuff won’t change your life
I’ve spent years doing my due diligence by researching and attending conferences.
Since you are reading this article I will assume you have hit some of the other ADHD websites looking for information. There’s a ton of free content out there.
But are you actually taking any action?
If you’re anything like me, you don’t read, you skim. Because…ADHD.
We want to see what’s in it for us.
No matter how skilled the coach is, or how well researched the article is, we only read 20% of it because we scroll to the bottom. (Go ahead, I know you want to.)
I realized after I cut my email list by 2/3 that most of my subscribers weren’t at all interested in my services. My website and Instagram content is all free.
There was no action, because I was giving them everything for free.
And we with ADHD don’t place any value on FREE.
FREE means optional. There’s no urgency.
I don’t know about you, but I rarely take any action unless I have some skin in the game.
we love instant gratification
This is tough love, but it needs to be said.
We with ADHD can be whiners. Myself included.
Do you know why there is so much social media noise around ADHD?
Because it feels good, and when you post something on Facebook/Instagram you get responses. You can wait with baited breath for that FEEDBACK. That momentary hit.
As a result, my friends and I are over here writing/podcasting/coaching about ways to make your life better and feel more in control, and nobody is hearing us through all of the noise.
Which leads me to my next point…
levels of awareness about ADHD
The lower your awareness, the less likely you are to feel a sense of urgency about taking control of ADHD.
Low level awareness – happens when you have not been diagnosed, or were recently diagnosed. You’re Googling, joining all of the Facebook groups, and watching all the videos.
You might try medication or therapy. Your feelings are a mix of sadness, relief, frustration, anger, overwhelm, and shame.
You are in no way ready to take meaningful action.
High level awareness– happens when you have been aware of your diagnosis and had time to process.
You’ve probably read some of the well-known books, and you figured out that the best information is not going to be found on social media.
You recognize the areas of your life where ADHD is impacting you. And you might be interested in some accountability and possibly coaching.
You understand ADHD can be managed, but it requires a commitment on your part.
You are gearing up to take meaningful action.
Mid-level awareness– happens when you know and have accepted what is.
You have ADHD, and you look for accurate information on the topic. ADDitude magazine appeals to you because of the range of articles.
You might be interested in some low-cost educational resources, or small group support.
You don’t have thousands of dollars to spend on a coach.
You are ready to take action, as long as there isn’t much risk involved.
ADHD coaching and support is NOT part of the journey for everyone.
I’ve spent 3 ½ years trying to build a community. In order to make any progress I had to create a sense of urgency for myself.
I had to walk away from my career, borrow money from my husband, and swallow my pride.
Like many of you I live with depression, anxiety, and a host of other barriers to my success.
Survival mode is a real thing.
But those of us who have some skin in the game, tend to take more action than those who spend their time looking for free resources.
IS ADHD Coaching and Support right for You?
ADHD Coaching and Support is NOT for you if:
you don’t see any value in coaching/support
you don’t believe you are capable of change
you do not want to take any action at this time
you believe ADHD is a gift, or a curse
ADHD Coaching and Support is for you if:
you identify with the mid-high levels of ADHD awareness
you are willing to make the best of it, even on bad days
you are motivated to take action
you are ready and able to see changes
I want to change the conversation around ADHD and provide high-quality content in a private environment.
My friend Terry Matlen and I are trying to figure out if a membership community is something women with ADHD would enjoy.