One of the big issues in my life is prioritizing what really matters to me. Not just talking about it, but doing it. I have a tendency to say yes when someone asks me to do something, which happens all the time.
I get roped into going places I don’t want to go, doing things I don’t want to do, and spending time around people I don’t even like. All because I don’t want to be perceived as….what?
I don’t want to be perceived as not “nice.” Who does? But I am wearing myself out mentally and physically. And I’m tired of it.
a simple way to prioritize your busy life
In order to set priorities, you have to understand what you value.
How do you figure out what you really value?
Here is a little game plan. I’ll link to my cheat sheet at the end.
We moms tend to put ourselves last. I know I do. Over the holidays I had a meltdown and basically told my husband and child that some things needed to change. I set some boundaries around what kinds of behavior and interactions I can tolerate at home.
Despite my irrational ranting that day, it led me to where I am now. We all need to work on ourselves or we are no good to our families.
Here is my post on the year of self improvement.
Figure out what is within your control
Steven Covey, in his famous book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, writes, “Proactive people focus their efforts on the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about.”
Though I often feel like my life is out of my control, there are things that I do have influence over. I can choose to focus my energies on meal planning, cleaning, and organizing. Or I can choose to focus my energy on this website.
Judging by the amount of dog hair in my house, this website takes priority.
Determine what you value
Some people hoard material things. Others work solely to make money. There are people that spend their lives serving their God. None of those things are really important to me. Which is ok. Everyone has to determine their own set of values.
At my funeral I would want to be described as kind, generous and strong.
What would you want people to say about you at your funeral? (I totally stole this from Dr. Covey.)
This is a revealing way to figure out what you value and what you expect from yourself. Be honest, this is important work.
Determine Which of Your Hats is the most flattering
Adult women play so many roles. We are professionals, mothers, wives, friends, sisters, coworkers, housekeepers, chefs, event planners and community organizers. Women with ADHD have the added stress of feeling inadequate in all areas.
I prefer my writer hat, my mom hat and my wife hat above all others.
Not that I don’t care about my volunteer activities and my housekeeping, I certainly do. But when I consider my funereal expectations for being called kind, generous, and strong these are the hats that best suit me.
Which hats are the most flattering for you?
Focus your energy
We all have the same 24 hours every day. Make the decision to set our priorities based upon our values and strengths.
Life is a series of choices. Some huge, some small and inconsequential. Choose to figure out what you value. Don’t judge yourself, just try on all the hats and figure out which ones are the ones for you.
Taking an inventory of your personal values makes it easier to prioritize what really matters in our busy lives.
Here is my handy-dandy personal values inventory. I would love to discuss how we can more effectively set priorities and manage our time. Shoot me an email or leave a comment with your thoughts!