Humans need connection.
I am a total introvert but even l need to get out around other adults a few times per week.
ADHD in adult women is still widely unrecognized and misunderstood. Many of us are stumbling through life, not sure of how to handle our lives.
What is the one thing we all have in common?
We want to feel understood and accepted.
Life is full of rejection and criticism and it feels like crap sometimes.
So I set out to create a safe space where we could talk openly about all of the issues.
The shame, anxiety, depression, overwhelm and chronic stress that is part of life with ADHD.
Whether you have been recently diagnosed, or you have been living in hiding for years, I invite you in. We’re a pretty friendly group.
Take what you need, Give what you can
It’s hard to ask for love from people you don’t know.
But I can tell you that when I talk to the women in my groups and in my private sessions, I feel their hearts.
Look up the word Love.
On dictionary.com the definitions reads, “to need or require; benefit greatly from.”
We all benefit from knowing and loving each other. In our community, your flaws are exposed but we love you anyway.
That kind of acceptance is what we need in order to move forward and live our best lives.
It’s easy to get down on yourself when you have ADHD.
We are often criticized by others who do not know how hard we are trying.
Women with ADHD often criticize themselves for not living up to society’s expectations.
But as soon as you lose hope, you have lost everything. As James Ochoa (and my Grandma) both say, “This too shall pass.” And it always does.
Tomorrow is another day and another chance to try again.
Cultivate hope. Look for it in everyday things.
Come to a group meeting, and we will help you spot it!
The nice thing about finding your tribe is that you don’t spend as much time apologizing.
Your mistakes and missteps are forgiven without hesitation. There is no room in here for holding grudges.
Everyone has something (or a lot of things) that they regret doing or saying.
The better you get at forgiveness for others, the easier it will be to forgive yourself. This type of self-work is a constant, ongoing project.
It doesn’t ever get easy, but you do become less judgmental when you put your mind to it.
I will confess that I get impatient every single day.
I cannot find something I need, or somebody isn’t moving fast enough. Or I am just plain frustrated with my life.
Have you ever noticed that you lose patience when you feel like you are not being heard?
Whenever I perceive that another human is not “hearing” me, I freak out internally and it spills out as impatience.
We all want to be heard, but the real trick is making others feel heard. And I don’t mean literally hearing the words, I mean absorbing them.
As a community, we learn patience and how to listen from each other.
Hearing is my gift, and I give it away to my clients freely.
When my child was getting in trouble 3+ times per week, and I was fielding constant calls from the school, my community kept me sane.
I babbled on about it ceaselessly and they tolerated me.
My advice to anyone going through something: find a supportive community and draw strength from other women.
It sounds so cheesy, but it is 100% the best form of therapy I have ever found. (And I have seen my fair share of therapists.)
They loaned me some of their strength, and I will always do my best to offer the same for them.
Let me be clear: just because you have found your tribe, that doesn’t mean there won’t be differences of opinion.
Learning to look at the world through the eyes of other people is incredibly healing.
All of a sudden our differences become interesting instead of annoying.
We listen to each other’s stories and we let all the messy stuff out. Sometimes we argue a bit.
Messy = healing.
Many women email me and confess how bad they feel about themselves. They use words like lazy, stupid, and ashamed.
Reading these emails is so hard for me because I can feel the pain emanating from the computer screen. I feel this pain because I am one of these women.
I cannot recall a single time in my life when I felt confident. I’ve struggled with body image, doubting my own intelligence, and doubting my own sanity.
ADHD is one of those conditions that really strips you of your confidence. We have to struggle every single day to do the same things everyone else does easily.
Within this community, I have gained confidence.
Writing and talking with other women has brought me alive again.
Have you always “known” on some level that you could do more?
Or that you were capable or more? But something was holding you back?
Through sharing your stories, and giving support to others, your confidence will return. It doesn’t happen all at once, but it happens.
It’s hard to make peace with ADHD.
I’m not sure I will ever feel completely at peace with it. But I know that acceptance and humor have gone a long way for me.
In church they say, “Peace be with you.”
ADHD is always with you, you do not have a choice. But you can choose to be at peace.
Give yourself that gift. Heal your own emotional wounds.
Take what you need, give what you can.
We all need to feel a sense of belonging.
Creating this community, and working with other women, has fulfilled that need for me and so many others.
I take from them, they take from me. But it doesn’t feel like taking. It feels like family.
This is the great thing about our community, you take what you need and you give what you can. And that is enough.
You are a part of something bigger.
A group of positive women is one of the strongest forces on Earth.
Tell me, What do you need? I encourage you to reply in the comments.
Or work with me privately. Individual support is my heart’s work, I love it.
Join our private community ADHD Coaching Corner.
Or just join my email list. I am *trying* to create value-packed emails and offers. I don’t do spam.